It feels like in life we’re always waiting for something. We’re waiting for all the stars to align, for things to make sense, for the path to be clear, and things to be perfect.
Trust me, I’m guilty...big time. It's hard being in the waiting season. Painfully hard.
But by constantly waiting for this season to change...are we missing what’s happening right now? Are we so focused on our future lives that we don’t embrace the beauty of today?
Changing perspective helps to shake things up for me personally. My life is by no means perfect or where I want it to be. I have felt like I’ve been waiting for things for a long time. Truthfully, it’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve embraced where I am in life. I came to the realization that what I have learned and am learning here in this waiting season, I could not have learned at any other time, in any other way. And when I focus on the beauty of what I have, who I am, and the life I get to live, everything changes.
Listen, no one wants to be a 34-year-old single, widow, or maybe ole Johnny has been on your last nerve lately and you do. (joking) But let me dangle these carrots in front you....Would love to sleep in on a Saturday morning as late as you want? Or take a nap at any time? How about binge a Netflix show without having to wait for your partner to come home?
Now sure, you wouldn’t want that forever. Me either! I’m not suggesting any of you would want to trade lives with me nor am I trying to sell you on some mystical single, widow life. (Don't kill Johnny)
But maybe for just 1 day, you’d want to trade your chaos for my quiet, little apartment that has a fireplace you turn on with a switch (swoon), a nap, and some unrestricted Netflix streaming. Maybe you’d like to not have to think about what to feed your family and declare that a s’mores pop tart is in fact dinner.
You see, that chaos - the husband/wife, the 2.5 kids, the house, the school plays - that's part of my waiting season. And I have the option (and I've chosen it quite often) to live in the despair of my waiting, or winter as I call it most. To envy you and focus on what you have.
We spend a too much time comparing the lack of what we have to the abundance we think others have. It's human nature but it's also dangerous. It can cripple us in every area of life, and with social media, it is a daily battle for many of us. But imagine in my winter, there are things envious to you! Some could see them as lonely, but some will see them as a gift. My pain, my lack, my winter...a gift?!
I'm not encouraging jealousy here. I'm encouraging you to look at what you DO have both tangible and intangible. Someone somewhere wishes they had some of the very things that are causing you pain in your waiting. Identify those things. Focus on those things. Live for those things. This shift in perspective will help re-frame everything.
This isn’t my forever. And whatever your today is, is not your forever either. The kids will grow up and move out. You will find a new job. You will make it through your winter. How do I know? I just do. Life evolves.
One day I will be married again. One day I’ll have a loud house with Netflix bingeing restrictions, and I’ll offer to give my left kidney for a 20 minute nap. And I will love that season when spring finally comes. I will bask in the glory of the sunshine, flowers, and 'it doesn't take that long to go to the bathroom' fights.
But right now in this season...I love my quiet, little apartment. I love that I get to be with my family all the time because I can be. I love that I get to spend so much time with my nieces...and return them to their house when they turn into monsters. I love that I get to travel whenever I want, wherever I want. I love that I finally have hope that this season will one day end and that I get to choose to live while I wait.
Don’t miss today. Don’t miss out on life in the waiting because when it’s over, you’re going to look back and see, it all mattered....every high, every low, every day. Live your life in the waiting...
Cover art by: Morgan Harper Nichols @morganharpernichols